elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All I want is dick and wine.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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