so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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