Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
