omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
