Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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