His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
