Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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