covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
