I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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