Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
