do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize