Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
