dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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