I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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