i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Randomize
