i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
