I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
