glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
