they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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