We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
