I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
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