He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
