I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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