he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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