I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
