is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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