I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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