Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
