are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
