i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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