Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
