EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
