I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
