I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
4 words: hood of his car
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
