I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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