I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
