don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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