Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
