Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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