did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize