this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
