Kiss
Puke
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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