In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize