you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
