we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
