Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
