I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Vodka?
Forever.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
