my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
