i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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