PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
