He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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