you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
