I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
