Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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