I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
