I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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