It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
