just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
