remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
