I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
