you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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