Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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