You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
