how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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