I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
