The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
