it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
