there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
